Casanova
by kaibasgirlx
Summary: Even Sokka suffers the effects of fandom.


**Casanova**

"Sokka! Open this door right now! Do you hear me?! Open up!"

Sokka groaned and rolled over in his bed, muttering something about five more minutes. The knocking at the door, however, coupled with the yelling, pulled him from his sleep, and he resignedly dragged himself across the room.

"Suki?" He grumbled, opening the door, as the morning sunlight filtered in. "What are you doing here? It's six in the morning, and you know I like to sleep in on weekends."

"Don't give me that!" The Kyoshi warrior snarled, as she stormed her way inside the room. "Where is she?! I swear I'm going to wring that little neck of hers when I get my hands on it!"

"What are you talking about?" Sokka asked, confused, as he watched the woman search through the closets, under the bed, heck, she even checked his underwear drawer for good measure.

"Don't play stupid!" She snapped, after checking inside the decorative vase Katara had gotten him for his birthday. "I _know_ you've been cheating on me!"

"Cheating on you?!" Sokka repeated, now wide-awake. "W-What are you talking about?"

"Oh, you thought I'd never find out, did you? Well, I've got proof!"

"Proof? What proof?!"

"THIS!" Suki shouted, shoving what looked like half a manuscript in his face. "Of all people Sokka, how could you? She tried to kill me!"

Sokka's eyes zoomed over the sentences, and his expression grew increasingly disturbed. "Wait a minute, this is all about me and Azula."

"Exactly!" The girl's eyes glistened with tears. "After everything that's happened between us, after that kiss at the Serpent's Pass, how could you go behind my back and-"

"Suki!" Sokka interrupted, exasperated. "This is all _fanfiction_! None of it is real, it's just some wannabe-authors who're obsessed with the show making these things up!"

Suki glared at him, hands akimbo. "Oh, and you think fans would just make stuff up between two characters if there was no canon evidence to support it?"

"Yes! Yes they would!" Sokka exclaimed emphatically. "They make up twisted pairings for their own sick amusement!"

The Kyoshi girl's eyes narrowed. "Sokka, you are the dirtiest, lowest, most irresponsible man I have ever met! How dare you blame the fans! They've done nothing but support us for two whole seasons! Instead of owning up to your actions, you go and blame the innocent! I'll tell you what's twisted, this relationship! We're OVER!"

"No, wait, Suki! This is all just a misunderstanding, I can prove it!"

"_We're_ a misunderstanding, Sokka!" The girl shouted before slamming the door shut.

"But…But…" Sokka cursed, kicking at the trailer door. First Yue, now Suki. He sighed. Why did the fans insist on ruining all of his relationships?

Ten minutes later, another knock sounded at the door. Sokka jumped to open it.

"Suki?" He asked hopefully, before seeing who it was. "Oh, hey Ty Lee…what's wrong?"

"C-Cutie!" The acrobat cried, large tears running down her cheeks. "H-How could you?"

The boy was quite taken aback. "How could I what?"

"M-My best friend, of all people!" She continued to sob, as she buried her face in her hands.

"What are you talking about?"

Wordlessly, she handed him what looked like a novel, and after reading the first few lines, Sokka groaned.

"Ty Lee," he began, but she interrupted him.

"I thought we had something special! I thought…I thought you cared, but you were just using me all along!"

"What? No! Ty Lee, we _do_ have something special! I mean-"

"You liar! That's exactly what you said in chapter 13, paragraph 4 line 37!"

"This is _fan_fiction, Ty Lee! None of this has ever happened! It's all just some crazy writers making stuff up!" Sokka exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air exasperatedly.

"Every lie has a basis in truth," the girl replied folding her arms, voice full of hurt. "And here I thought you were sweet and caring, after all those moments together, and the time we danced in Ba Sing Se, you went and cheated on me behind my back, and not just with anyone, but my best friend! I hate you Sokka, we're through!"

"No, Ty Lee!"

The acrobat jabbed him in a number of spots, rendering him unable to move. She stared at him contemptuously as he lay motionless on the floor.

"And I hope you stay that way too, you double-crossing, two-timing jerk!"

With that, she ran out of the room, tears flying in the air behind her.

After about 15 minutes, Sokka finally regained feeling in his limbs and was able to move. Picking up the two abandoned stories on the floor, he glared hatefully at them.

"This is all _your_ fault! Darn it, who in their right minds would write about me and Azula anyway?"

Giving it some thought, he came up with only one possible conclusion.

"Of course! Azula must be writing these! She probably got tired of picking on Zuko, so she decided to do me! Well, I'll show her!"

Gripping the two stories in his hand, he marched determinedly to the next studio over, and knocked on the trailer door. There was no answer.

Grumbling, the boy knocked again.

Still no answer.

Muttering some choice words under his breath, he began to rap loudly, until finally, the door swung open.

"Who the he-oh, it's you. What do you want? Actually, what are you doing here, I thought the guards didn't allow your class past the gates."

Sokka glared at the woman. "Oh really? Here, why don't you take a look at this!"

He shoved the two stories into her hands, and watched her expression as she read the first page.

Azula's eyes scanned the first few paragraphs. "This is all about me and you…screwing each other."

"Exactly! Know anything about it?"

"Please," Azula waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "This is all just fandom making things up."

"So you have nothing to do with this?"

"Now why would _I_, Azula, Princess of the Fire Nation, want to get in bed with you?"

Sokka breathed a sigh of relief. "So it _is_ just the fans. Good."

"Interesting," Azula muttered, as she flipped the next page and continued reading. "We have absolutely no interaction on the show, we're both enemies, I tried to kill the Avatar _and_ your girlfriend, yet fans still insist on pairing us up in their stories. It doesn't make sense."

"That's exactly what I told Suki and Ty Lee! Great, so now you can come with me and explain it, because they have this crazy idea that I'm cheating on them!"

"…If you're going out with both Suki _and_ Ty Lee, isn't that called cheating?"

"Of course not! I'm just…keeping my options open!"

"Hmmm…well, as thrilling as that may sound, my answer is no."

"No? What do you mean no? You have to come! They don't believe that fans are making it up! They think it's all canon!"

"If you didn't act like a polygamist on set, they wouldn't assume that you are one."

"Hey, the farthest I've ever gotten was that kiss from Suki at the Serpent's Pass, and they cut out most of it cause of the rating the show has!"

"As much as I enjoy hearing about the suffering of others, you're boring me. Now, are you done, or do I have to call security?"

"Ty Lee's your friend, isn't she? Don't you want to help sort out this…misunderstanding? Don't you want to make her happy?"

"If I weren't sociopathic, I might actually agree. Oh well, sucks to be you."

"PLEASE? I'm practically begging here!"

Azula gave a small sigh. "Fandom really _is_ ruining your life, isn't it?"

"Yes! Yes it is!" Sokka cried, relieved that she finally understood.

"Well then, I don't really give a darn."

And she slammed the door in his face.

_End_


End file.
